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The Purpose Of Marriage Counselling

The Purpose Of Marriage Counselling

By Ian Tomlinson

What is the purpose of marriage counselling? Can it really fix a relationship in distress?

Couples come for couples counselling for one purpose, so they can feel closer and more connected to each other. There are many different ways in which they can end up seeking that help, but ultimately, we all want closeness and connection, it’s in our genes.

Can marriage counselling help us fix our relationship?

Yes, if you are willing to do the work. An Imago Relationship Therapist will give you the tools but you have to put them into action. What might this look like?

Creating a zero-negative environment in the relationship.

No shame, blame, criticism or defensiveness. That might sound hard initially but it is doable and better than the alternative – living in a hostile environment where neither of your feel safe.

Giving each other appreciations

Telling each other the things you really love about the other. Thanking your partner when they do something that has made a difference to you, no matter how small.

It’s amazing how well tuned in you can be to the things that you don’t like in the relationship but how easy it can be to ignore the things that you love. Reverse this, it makes for a much happier relationship all round.

This all may sound hard but that’s the purpose of marriage counselling, your Imago Relationship Therapist will help you with this and encourage you to bring this positivity into your relationship slowly but surely.

Talk about what’s keeping you stuck

The next purpose for marriage counselling would be to help you talk through the issues in your relationship where you are getting stuck.

In Imago Relationship Therapy we always take this from a place of safety, with the intention of the work being to bring the couple closer.

So the couples counselling would be focused on “what’s getting in the way of us being close and connected in our relationship”.

An Imago Relationship Therapist will teach you both to dialogue. This is a safe and structured way of having a conversation.

Why Imago Dialogue is useful

Dialogue is great because if you find talking difficult it will create space for you to think about what you want to say. If you are someone who maybe talks too much, then your Imago Relationship Therapist will guide you and help you be clearer and more succinct soyou can really get your point across.

Without going to couples counselling, many couples find it difficult to reach this level of understanding and intimacy when discussing problems because survival behaviour clicks in and both partners just take up their old, familiar relationships. A good couples counsellor will help you out of these old patterns.

Marriage Counselling Works

So, to summarise, the purpose of marriage counselling is to give you an opportunity to learn strategies to bring more positivity and connection into your relationship and have a well trained couples counsellor there to help you explore the issues that get in the way of closeness.

As an Imago Relationship Therapist myself, I believe that every couple can benefit from marriage counselling. Don’t wait until things are difficult, work with an Imago Relationship Therapist now to future proof your relationship for a long time to come.

By Ian Tomlinson

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