Three things that couples want from a relationship
If you were to ask somebody what they want from a relationship, what do you think they would say? Perhaps it would be love, excitement, equality, security, companionship, trust or laughter. You would most likely receive hundreds of different responses if you asked a range of people.
However, in Imago Relationship Therapy, we work on the basis that there are three fundamental ‘wants’ from every relationship. We might not know it, but subconsciously, we are all looking for the same foundations on which to build with our partner.
Once we have an understanding of this notion, we can identify the areas where couples should focus their efforts to transform their relationship.
So, what are the three things that couples want from a relationship?
This is the first layer. Feeling safe, both emotionally and physically, is imperative to being in a happy and loving relationship.
Being emotionally safe with someone means that we are internally relaxed with that person. We feel comfortable enough to be ourselves, to let our guard down and to share our fears, hurts and longings.
When we don’t feel safe, our defence mechanisms instinctively kick into action which leads to conflict and disconnection.
Once we have established safety, we can begin to connect. Like love, a connection cannot be seen. It is a feeling between two people. It can happen by looking into each other’s eyes, by sharing a joke, by discussing your dreams or simply by being together. It is how we feel close to our partner.
In Imago Relationship Therapy, we say that behind every complaint is a wish and a longing for connection. It is a fundamental requirement for all couples to thrive.
When we feel safe and connected, we look for joyfulness.
This is about living with passion and vitality in ourselves and with our partner. All healthy relationships require an element of fun and playfulness, which of course will manifest itself differently from person to person.
In Imago Relationship Therapy, we work with couples to re-discover these three elements to transform their relationship and help them grow together. If you’d like to explore this, you can find an Imago therapist in your area by .